How You Can Destroy Your Country with Democracy!

From time to time, many of you have probably wondered how you can destroy your country with democracy. You may work in an office, or a factory. You may even be a simple homemaker. But rest assured, there are ways you can destroy your country... without giving up the life you currently lead. In fact, all you'll really have to do is to refine your current lifestyle. Our leaders have put together a plan, a scenario, that will allow you to destroy your country while living more prosperously than you ever have before. In fact, you may find this plan is the only way you can live prosperously! I'm here, along with your politicians and media, to introduce you to this plan, to show you how it works, and to acquaint you with how to work with it as a "team player" to finally get ahead in life... while destroying your life, and your country.

Sometimes people make things out to be tougher than they have to be. It's hard to believe, but some Americans still hold fast to the antiquated notion that politicians are elected to represent the will of the People - and that it is their duty to make sure that those politicians do their jobs right. Of course, this silly old idea doesn't stand up to rational thought. Our leaders run things, tell the American people what to do, and take care of us - just like a kindly old grandparent and, sometimes, a stern father. When there's a problem, our leaders will sort it out, never you trouble yourself over it.

After all, that's what a democracy's all about! How many times have you heard people on your picture tube at home talk about democracy? About, "defending democracy", "spreading democracy", and, of course, "making the world safe for democracy"? That's their job, and it sure is a big one! That's why we pay them so well to do it, after all. So set aside anything you may have picked up, say, in school about America actually being a republic. Say, from the Pledge of Allegiance. Our leaders have saved us from all of that.

In a Republic, everyone has certain rights that are considered sacred and inviolate, and they elect representatives to make sure those rights are safeguarded at all times - that is their duty to the people. Citizens have to keep a watchful eye on their politicians all the time, to keep them in check. But everything becomes much easier in a Democracy. In a Democracy, whoever and whatever gets the most votes, goes. No rights are sacred, and everything is up for grabs. In our case, our leaders will write new legislation, and tell us on our picture tubes and in our newspapers what to do, and that goes. Because everything's negotiable, Democracy is obviously far better than a boring old Republic - it makes free citizens even freer!

Once in a while, you may hear some gloomy gus complaining that the American economy isn't doing too well. Why, nothing could be further from the truth! I'll let you in on a little secret - there's plenty of money! What that poor sap doesn't know is that for every half a cent he gets, someone in the top 1% of the American population gets $38! This is how America rewards success. Those sharp go-getters are the ones you should keep your eye on - they're smarter than the average bear, and you'll want to take your cues from them. After all, a fella with more money and power than you has gotta be doing something right.

What are these motivated Americans doing that puts them ahead of the curve? Standardization and consolidation of corporations - under the care and guidance of our leaders! Yes, whether it's the media or consumer products, successful corporations are not only consolidating, but also interlocking together to form groups that are far greater than the sum of their parts. This not only allows them to increase their profit margins to reward the success of those who run them, it also allows them to get first crack at no-bid government contracts and subsidies. And any successful businessman knows that free money is a terrific advantage in a competetive business environment - a company that doesn't use every advantage it can get, quickly falls to one that does. This government money is a real shot in the arm for any business - provided it promotes the thoughtful plans of our leaders. This wonderful new system of organization allows us to take otherwise small businesses and band them together like links in a chain of command, and allows the agendas of successful people in our community to make their way into our culture in everything from books, to newspapers, to radio, to film, to prime-time television and even your nightly news! Does it work? Of course it does! Why, we certainly haven't heard any complaints so far.

Decades of rewarding successful Americans increasingly, economizing by using more economical labor overseas, and importing most of what Americans purchase, has made the ordinary way of life difficult for the average American. But don't worry, you won't have to harvest your neighbors' organs to survive. At least not yet! Our leaders have come up with a plan that will save our country - if we all pull together as a team!

You see, the problem isn't the fault of our wise leaders, or that too few people have most of the money, or that the system doesn't work. Only someone unpatriotic could even think that! No, the problem is that there are too many people - and not enough resources to go around! There are two approaches to this problem, and your leaders are hard at work on both of them! In fact, if you look closely at the messages our leaders send us through the news and our entertainment media, you can see these agendas starting to come together.

The first is to acquire more resources, whether it's by rejecting environmental initiatives like the international Kyoto Protocol and busily mining and logging away, or by going to war overseas and establishing friendly pet governments in weaker, more resource-rich countries.

The second approach is domestic, and corresponds to what successful businessmen term "reducing headcount". While sometimes this means reducing the budget for government benefits and health care, the next stage of our project means exactly what it sounds like - getting rid of people who aren't as useful to the system as a whole, as defined by our leaders.

Obviously, we can't get rid of everyone - those factories won't run themselves! - so the plan is to get rid of the least useful, least loyal among us... those who aren't an asset to "the team". Our leaders have been doing this for decades, devising, controlling, and managing public policy through the use of government subsidies and legislation to marginalize and segregate minority groups. But over the last few decades our leaders have been turning up the heat on this, with the media there to keep us all in lock-step. Increasing slander, prejudice and attack of any public figure who speaks against the status quo sends Americans a clear message of how they should behave, even when it isn't said in so many words.

When there's a problem, our leaders are showing us how to pick the person or group that is the least aligned with the agenda of our leaders, and to attack them as a group. Whether they're a competing political candidate, Mexican-Americans who are stealing our jobs (notice how the allegation seems to condense out of mid-air, and we're never prompted to direct our attention to the leaders of corporations), Muslims or possible Muslims, the unemployed and the homeless, or the clichéd depictions of black and gay minority groups in the media. 9/11 couldn't have been a better boon to our country's new direction, because not only is terrorism an excellent and unprecedanted new reason to use unprecedanted new powers here at home, separating a terrorist from a potential terrorist from an uncooperative citizen can be a very difficult and time-consuming task! The increase in police, military and surveillance jobs for those working in the government sector will be a tremendous boom to our economy - and those jobs will pay off in the long run, as more Americans march to the drumbeat of our leaders plan. Even enemies of the state will have their place in our leaders' great plan - their lives and their property will be forfeit to the benefit of all, which will more than make up for the greater number of government paychecks. Our leaders certainly plan long-term, as those naysayers who thought America didn't have a prayer or a plan after the economic decline of the 1990s will soon come to learn!

Anyone can be a terrorist! It's easy! On a national level, your politicians and media will tell you who is a terrorist. It will start small, and build up as needed - one group or personality after another, after another! At your local level, anyone can be a terrorist, provided they are in opposition to the plan that will save our country! Or perhaps, not cheering quite as loudly for our mutual success as everybody else - so be sure to have your flag pin on and showing whenever you go out!

"But what about our politicians? What if they're the problem?"

Don't be silly! Our leaders couldn't have gotten to the successful, established positions they're at today without having been dedicated, dilligent, patriotic Americans! This is what our elections are designed to ensure - that nobody can get elected to office without thorough, impartial scrutiny by our consolidated media corporations on behalf of our leaders! By the time someone is elected, it must be obvious to even the dullest simpleton that they're pro-America! And anyone who attacks that reputation is a threat to the well-being of this country, and is likely to be a terrorist! If someone you know is a potential terrorist, don't handle the situation yourself - notify the proper authorities, who will conduct thorough warrantless wiretapping, no-knock warrants, and potentially indefinite detainment of the suspect! You'll be doing your part for your country, and there may even be a reward in it for you, for leading to their apprehension and arrest!

By the same reasoning, our news media is also above criticism. Our news media is there, in the hands of the five corporations that serve our new direction, to disseminate information and keep us all in step with our leaders' wise and careful planning. When you watch the news, you can rest assured that what you're seeing is part of our new direction - why, even the BBC News is vetted when shown in America now - and that anything you shouldn't be worrying yourself with has been excised. This is perhaps no better demonstrated than at Fox News, where guests who stray too far from the message the network is trying to convey to us frequently have their microphone feed cut, and are thrown off the property - sometimes with threats of violence. You can be sure that whatever goes on in front of the cameras, what goes on behind the scenes is at least as forceful - if not more so! After all, we can't have dissent gumming up the works - it's patently un-American... in the New America!

This of course means that you can safely take your cues from the media, as well as politicians. And given this two-approach plan, with wars abroad combined with increasing witch hunts at home, our leaders take the concept to a whole new level, blending the two. For example, here are some buzzwords and concepts repeated over and over by the media during the start of the Iraq war. How many of them could just as easily be applied as thinly-veiled metaphors for this domestic agenda?

• In Iraq: "Dual use facilities" and house-to-house searches for contraband
• In America: Huge furorè over warrentless wiretapping and no-knock warrants.

• In Iraq: "Regime change begins at home"
• In America: Bush suspends the right of habeas corpus for "any person"

• In Iraq: Much is made of getting the new Iraqi political structure on its feet
• In America: Homeland Security contracts Halliburton subsidiary KBR to build mass detention centers, work camps and death camps in the U.S.

• In Iraq: Soldiers train for "urban warfare" - combat in urban areas, including seeking information from natives, detaining, questioning and torturing suspects, learning native cultural do's and don'ts, and presenting a good appearance towards Iraqi citizens.
• In America: Bush enacts legislation purporting to allow him to replace local police with soldiers any time he chooses. Additionally, secret arrests of over 30,000 people are kept off the radar of the mainstream news.

• In Iraq: Soldiers wage a "Battle for hearts and minds" of the Iraqi people.
• In America: FOX News wages a propaganda war complete with marching orders handed down to pundits from Rupert Murdoch himself, supporting the agenda of our leader in all things and rabidly attacking anything that stands against that. Other mainstream news channels take their cues from the FOX News network.

• In Iraq: American soldiers use a pattern of "Shock and awe tactics" to quickly decimate the morale of Iraqi combattants.
• In America: Evidence suggests the Bush administration engineered 9/11, evidence also ties Bush to bin Laden. The War on Terrorism continues, and some politicians have told the American people to expect it to continue for decades.

Other interesting phrases were used in reporting on the Iraq war, including the concept that Bush had no "exit strategy" for the war (at about the time a lot of coverage was given to tightening security on the borders between the borders to both Mexico and Canada), "repurposed vehicles" being used in Iraq, and, in the search for WMD's, whether inspectors had yet found a "smoking gun" - which of course they never did - and neither has the New American agenda yet sparked off an armed domestic revolution in response. Perhaps most tellingly was the use of the phrase "embedded reporters", travelling through Iraq riding with U.S. soldiers. The 9/11 strike created the pretext for war in the Middle East, and the war in Middle East countries creates military and journalist activities to co-ordinate the domestic developments for our leader's vision for the New America. So, you can rest assured that you can take your cues from our politicians and the media in bringing about this New America.

Once you have begun taking your cues from the media, you can learn a lot from the mainstream news' - particularly FOX News' - successful approach to quelling dissent. First and foremost is to never generate controversy yourself! If nobody's complaining, you are free to proceed! If, however, some poor sap criticizes some aspect this New America, you can either muddy the argument and attempt to shoot it down, or else you can counterattack, lambasting them with whatever you can think of.

If neither of these work, or are an option available to you, the rule of thumb is to complain right along with them - but take no action on it! Complain, complain until you're blue in the face, until they're sick and tired of hearing it - but never attempt to resolve the situation. In this way, you can retain credibility while still proceeding forward with the New American agenda. When in doubt, take your cues from the mainstream news and entertainment media! They'll surely show you how to proceed, and can better organize a response that many others will join you in following. If you get stuck, keep in mind this handy rule of thumb: on the news, "conservative" and "Republican" usually refers to New Americans, and "liberal" and "Democrat" usually refers to followers of the old regime and anything that seems to oppose New America and our leader's plan. (And sometimes, the emphasis there is on "seems"... our leaders are certainly good at this!)

Why, the media is helping you already! Not only are our leaders putting in place effective, systematic strategies for minimizing problems without inciting widespread panic and general alarm, but your entertainment media are doing their part as well. Hollywood systematically releases movies designed to increase an attitude of fear, suspicion and submission in the New America, primetime shows reinforce mainstream values and mindsets as well as often focus on the themes of elaborate measures to catch criminals, of fear, and of oppression, and both regularly focus on shallow issues toward the lower end of the IQ scale. This keeps public discourse manageable, makes intellectuals feel isolated and abnormal, and can help you compete against your neighbors in the increasingly competitive commercial and sociopolitical world just outside your door.

In the New America, schools have been repurposed to serve the new agenda. The primary job of public schools in the New America isn't to educate, it's to prepare the majority of young citizens for the new way of life. Bells, ceremonies, authority figures, regimented scheduling, popularity contests among their peer group, mandatory dictates meted out apparently arbitrarily, and of course question/answer stimulus/response psychology. As some of you may have noticed, increased class sizes means there's less time for mentorship and critical thought, while budget cuts and increasing standards handed down from our leaders now require teachers to "teach to the test", so that a student's success hinges on their ability to absorb quantities of statements without critical thought, and respond with those statements quickly when prompted. Students that don't learn to do this - and don't learn to live within a rigid authoritarian structure - soon find themselves high-school dropouts, flipping burgers at a minimum wage while their real wages steadily erode compared to the rest of society. Get it? It's time to get with the program, kids!

Schools will help implement this facet of New America because they must, in order to secure the federal subsidies they need to get by, and this makes it easy for our leaders to shape public policy through our schools. Why are schools dependant upon federal subsidies, when local taxes provide for them? Because citizens can't afford local taxes that would do the job completely - they're not successful enough, and they're giving a third of their money to the federal government in taxes, which it then doles out wisely to shape public policy like this. Do you see now? You give your money to our leaders, who give some of it back on the condition that you co-operate in the New America. This way, we can be sure to have plenty of support across the country in building the New America.

Of course, if you're a more successful citizen you can always send your children to a private school! Private schools are how better citizens do better! They'll be less dangerous, slightly less regimented, they'll teach your children slightly more critical-thinking skills - along with enough presuppositions and erroneous presumptions to keep them from doing any real damage with them - and when combined with a college degree, enough job skills to be on the path to a steady ongoing career - provided they can find a job opening! Yes, they'll still have to be networked with people "plugged in" to jobs in the New America, and stay on good terms with them - so nothing too outlandish. And if you want a job in the New America, don't post anything too outlandish on your MySpace or other blog - in fact, don't do anything objectionable anywhere, ever! It's just simpler that way, and we're making sure that's increasingly the case. By doing this, your ability to secure a job in the New America isn't guaranteed, but the liklihood is increased... provided your more successful employer hasn't shipped those jobs overseas by the time you go to get them! Rest assured, there'll always be a way that you can increase your likihood of surviving in the New America, no matter how fierce the competition for jobs gets... as long as you learn to play the game. That means that as competition gets more fierce, you learn to adopt more of the agendas of the New America as new hoops are added to whatever you're trying to do. Remember, when times are tough, don't blame your government! Just join the winning side, and times will get tougher for everyone... but you! Play your cards right to serve the agenda of the New America, "just follow orders", and you could be the last one "voted off the island"!

As you can see, the problem isn't that the economy isn't doing well - it's that you're not doing what it takes to stay competitive in the New American economy! Whether it's politically or economically, painting yourself into a corner is never a problem... if you've got a sledgehammer and you're willing to knock out a couple of walls! To make sure you stay "in" with the "in" crowd, and to make sure you're not targetted as an enemy of the state, you just have to learn to "play the game" of New America! That means jumping through the hoops as they're added, and they're added as the situation becomes more competitive! One of these hoops is conspicuous consumption - even if you're not doing too well in the new economy, if you buy the right clothes, the right car (preferably a gas-guzzling SUV), and follow all the latest trends, you'll appear successful to others, you'll show that you're "playing the game", and playing it as a team player in the New America!

Nowhere is this new concept of New America better presented than in our leader's response to the terrorist attack of 9/11. On September 20, 2001 in his famous "go shopping or the terrorists win" speech at Chicago's O'Hare International Airport, Bush said, "Get on board. Do your business around the country. Fly and enjoy America's great destination spots. Get down to Disney World in Florida. Take your families and enjoy life, the way we want it to be enjoyed."

...and we're sure he knows what he's talking about!

In tough economic times, nothing good comes about without effort! In an increasingly harsh economic climate, you've got to look successful - and conform - to avoid being torn apart by everyone else! In Nazi Germany, even when citizens didn't have much they would make sure they looked good! Black boots shined to a gleam, uniforms pressed and creased, women staying domestic and buying lots of new clothes - real Barbie dolls and G.I. Joes! Anything less could be interpreted as a criticism of New America and its economy, and an indication that you're not "playing the game"... and the New America doesn't take kindly to people who threaten America! With an estimated 800 American concentration camps built and just waiting to fire up, this will only become more apparent as time goes on!

As you can see, getting your piece of the pie is easy - as long as you're willing to do what it takes to take it from someone weaker than you! The problem isn't with our leaders, as long as we're willing to accept their agenda and behave as they do towards everyone we meet in our public and private lives. This can continue as long as there are groups of people to segregate, marginalize, isolate and destroy - we can learn to live high on the hog, just as our leaders do! As more people start getting with the program, that program will become even more competitive - and only those who've learned to work for New America in every aspect of their private lives will succeed. With warrantless wiretapping, classified surveillance, required conspicuous consumption and the ability for anyone to be labelled an enemy of the state and detained indefinitely, the standards of loyalty will be raised increasingly, and enforced increasingly. Now that you've seen the trend, you should be able to spot it everywhere in prevalent media and New American politics - you now have everything you need to stay competitive in competitive times!

We hope you've all enjoyed this sneak preview of the New America. Now, let's all go out to the lobby... and get ourselves some snacks!